Coaching The Elephant

Stop Letting Titles Define You

This post discusses the dangers of defining oneself by external roles and titles, arguing that such a fragile identity can lead to a sense of being lost when those things are gone. It introduces the Core Identity Model, which advocates for building a resilient sense of self based on one's core values, rather than on performance or labels.

Finding Your Way Out of the Dark

This article explores grief not just as a response to death, but to any profound loss that shatters a person's sense of identity. It uses the Kübler-Ross Change Curve as a non-linear map to navigate loss, emphasizing that healing is about walking alongside others in pain, not about finding a quick fix.

When Caring Feels Too Heavy

This article discusses how caring for others can feel overwhelming, a phenomenon known as "empathic distress." It distinguishes between empathy, which is feeling another's pain and can lead to burnout, and compassion, which is about being present with someone's suffering without being consumed by it. The article concludes that true healing comes not from trying to fix a person's pain but from the simple act of being present and staying near them.

The Power of Choice in the Midst of Hardship

This article analyzes the story of Nightbirde, a contestant on America's Got Talent, to explore the core idea of choosing your emotional state amid hardship. It argues that happiness is not something to wait for after a struggle is over, but an active choice that can be made even when facing immense difficulty. The author concludes that true resilience is not about getting through the storm, but about forging meaning and strength while you are in it.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves - And How to Rewrite Them

This article explains that the stories people tell themselves shape their identity and choices. It discusses how some of these narratives are empowering while others are quietly limiting, often driven by inner saboteurs. The article offers insights and practical steps to help readers recognize their own stories and choose a new, more positive way forward.

Conflict Out of Nothing

This article explains that many conflicts seem to arise from minor events but are actually a reactivation of older, unresolved issues. It argues that seemingly insignificant disagreements are often signals of underlying tensions, unaddressed fears, or recurring behavioral patterns that must be understood rather than avoided.

The Death Drill: What Happens When You’re Gone?

This article presents a thought experiment for leaders to consider what would happen to their business and family if they were suddenly gone. The exercise is a practical tool for assessing a leader's true legacy by revealing hidden dependencies and encouraging the building of systems that empower others.

How Being Indispensable Hurts Family Business

This piece explores the paradox of founders who cling too tightly to leadership. While being indispensable might feel like loyalty, it undermines future success and legacy. René argues that letting go, with trust and intentional succession, enables long-term viability and health of a family enterprise.

When The World Shakes. Building Inner Strength When It Counts Most

René reframes resilience not as a fixed trait but as a conscious choice and ongoing practice. Using a story about a client engagement collapsing, he illustrates how true strength emerges in adversity, not by avoiding it, but by standing firm within it. It’s a guide to cultivating inner presence when everything falls apart.

The Inner Mind Game of Sports Stars and Executives

Drawing on Tim Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis, René highlights the internal dialogue that sabotages peak performance. He teaches that mastering attention and quieting self-doubt enables the “body to take over” and perform at its best, whether on the field or in the boardroom.